


While I'm Stumbling Home As Drunk As I've Ever Been

by teensterek



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Death, F/M, I APOLOGIZE, M/M, blame ed sheeran
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-05-03
Updated: 2014-05-03
Packaged: 2018-01-21 17:31:51
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,035
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1558433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/teensterek/pseuds/teensterek
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“You did. My friends. You guys still help me from remembering all those bad memories. If it wasn’t for you guys I’d probably be bawling my eyes out every night instead of just some. You will heal Scott. It may not get better but it won’t get worse.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	While I'm Stumbling Home As Drunk As I've Ever Been

**Author's Note:**

> This is the first time I've written anything teen wolf. Title from Ed Sheeran's One. I just needed to write this when I heard it. This is unbeta'd so all mistakes are my fault. Thank you and enjoy.

He’s so fucked. He never should’ve gotten that extra bottle of whisky. It had seemed like such a good idea at first. That if he did it everything would go away for a while. The pain. The sadness. It was all too much for him to handle. She was gone and it was his fault. If they had just listened it would’ve been okay, and she would still be laughing that beautiful laugh and smiling that beautiful smile.  
She wouldn’t have been dying in his arms saying she had loved him. He needed to hear those words again and again and again. But he couldn’t.  
So now he’s stumbling everywhere and almost into oncoming traffic. The bottle-now empty- still in his hand. So he walked and he walled not really knowing where he was going. When he looked up he saw the house.

 

“NO!” He screamed and threw the bottle.

  
Luckily no one lived there yet. She had moved out before it had happened but it still hurt. That was where everything happened. He could still tell you about the box she kept under her bed with everything that happened in their relationship. Even after the break-up. She had said that she liked the memories and the love that came with them when he had asked her.

  
“MAKE IT GO AWAY!”

  
The memories kept coming so he left. The brisk weather almost made him shiver. Almost. As he walked he realized that he was going to Stiles’ house. He knew that when he got there Stiles wouldn’t ask questions. Would just cry with him because, It’s my fault. When in reality it was no one’s fault but his own. If he had just stayed away like Lydia had said then everything would be fine.

  
BANG! BANG! BANG!

  
He knocked loudly which most likely made Stiles and Derek wake up. When Stiles opens the door he opens his arms, too. He falls into them because his strength is gone.

  
“I know buddy.” And he was right because Stiles is crying.

  
“I just need her. I thought it was going to be okay. Why is she gone?” He sobs.

  
“We all need her. She was the light of the day. She made everyone laugh and smile even Boyd remember? He laughed so hard he cried.”

  
And then he’s crying harder cause Boyd is gone and even though they knew little about each other he was still a good guy. They had lost so much people in the past few years. He just wanted everyone to stay alive. He didn’t think he had enough of anything left. He realized the tears had stopped coming down. Probably because he’d cried for so long.

  
5 months after she was gone he still visited her. Every day. All day. He brought lunch and dinner and ate with her. When he got home his mom would look at him with sadness in her eyes. He’d avoid her and just walk up to his room because he was done with the pity. He just wanted to be alone.

  
“I miss her so much.”

  
“I know, I know.”

  
He heard murmuring upstairs. Probably calling Melissa and telling her where he was. He didn’t feel like eavesdropping and making sure. They sat down on the couch. He refused to sleep in the one guest bedroom in the loft because it felt too weird. It still smelled like Isaac and it still hurt that he had up and left them all.

  
“How am I supposed to go to school? Everyone will just give me pitying looks. They’ll say, “I’m sorry for you loss. She was such a great girl.” But they don’t fucking know her. They didn’t know her like we did. Like I did. They just feel sorry for me.” He says it all with a sneer.

  
“They won’t and no they don’t know her. They probably barely even knew her last name. They all suck. Okay? Everything will be okay. I promise. You have me and Derek and Kira and even Lydia. She knows what you’re going through. She lost her best friend, Scott.”

  
“I know. I know okay? Jeez-,” he sighs, “I know that. We both loved her-love her. It’s just I feel like there is this hole in my chest. And it’s not going away. It never goes away, Stiles.”

  
He starts to cry again. He tries to breathe regularly and evenly but it just comes out as little hiccups. He sniffles and wipes at his nose with the back of his hand.

  
“That’s how I felt when my mom died. You know what helped me?” Stiles asks.

  
“What?”

  
“You did. My friends. You guys still help me from remembering all those bad memories. If it wasn’t for you guys I’d probably be bawling my eyes out every night instead of just some. You will heal Scott. It may not get better but it won’t get worse.”

  
“Goddammit. Did it ever hurt less when people mention her?” He asks because he needs to know this.

  
“No. It still hurts to talk about her. But most people will help you get through it or stop mentioning her or stop you mid-story.”

  
Okay. He can do this. He can go home tomorrow and start to smile at his mom. He’ll take her to her favorite place on that old dusty street. When he gets to school he’ll just nod and give out smiles even if they might look pained. He’s going to try.

  
Him, Scott McCall, will make conversation first and help Lydia through her own grieving. When someone mentions Allison’s name he might cry, or just avoid them but it’ll be okay. Everything will be okay.

  
-

  
He gets home the next day and makes his mom breakfast. She looks surprised but she hides with a wide smile.

  
She hugs him and says, “I’m glad you’re back to the real world.”

  
He laughs and keeps making the pancakes and hash browns. She moves around and grabs five plates because Stiles, Derek, and John are coming over, too. He knows she just wants to show them his progress and he doesn’t mind. He needs to be around people right now.

  
“Me too, mom. Me too.”


End file.
